** Brainstorm:
Connecting Sentence………This has become a major problem, which needs attention.
Thesis Statement……………Children become obese because they eat too much of junk food and they are less active.
BODY 1:
Topic Sentence……………..Children consume junk food
Supporting Sentence-1…..Most children are fond of burgers, pizzas, noodles and carbonated drinks
Example…………………….These types of foods are easily available to them in school canteens.
Supporting Sentence-2…..Parents are working and they do not have time to cook.
Example……………………..Parents often buy dinner for their children instead of preparing
food at home.
Concluding Statement……This calorie rich diet is making children obese
(Summary of the Main Points)
BODY 2:
Topic Sentence………………..Children are becoming less active.
Supporting Sentence-1………This is due to the increasing use computers and television among children.
Example………………………..They spend most of their time watching television or playing video games on a computer.
Additional information……..This technological advancement has reduced level the of physical activity in this specific age.
Supporting Sentence-2……..Some schools conduct physical activity only once a week.
Example………………………..This is not enough for children to keep them active.
Concluding Statement……….Children become obese when they are not physically active.
CONCLUSION:
B. Outline
INTRODUCTION:
General Statement………………………………………………………….
Connecting Information…………………………………………………..
Thesis Statement……………………………………………………………
BODY 1:
Topic Sentence………………………………………………………………
Supporting Sentence 1…………………………………………………….
Example/ Elaboration……………………………………………………..
Supporting Sentence 2…………………………………………………….
Example/ Elaboration……………………………………………………..
Concluding Statement…………………………………………………….
BODY 2:
Topic Sentence………………………………………………………………
Supporting Sentence 1……………………………………………………..
Example/ Elaboration………………………………………………………
Supporting Sentence 2……………………………………………………..
Example/ Elaboration………………………………………………………
Concluding Statement……………………………………………………..
Conclusion:
** Study the following essay and identify the mistakes.
Human beings today do not live longer the way the previous generation did. They say that this is because of their unhealthy lifestyle. Do you agree or disagree?
Every years according to some reports that there is/are a number of people who have died dies in their early age. This is in comparison to the previous generation where people had lived lives longer. I agree that people these days does do not live longer because of their unhealthy lifestyle. They are always busy and they don’t have time to prepare healthy food and do exercise.
To begin with, people’s busy work schedules do does not allow them to have time to prepare healthy food. When they are so busy with their work, they will just go to the restaurant and eat. They also always buys instant food which is easy to prepared. The instant food such as noodles and the food in the restaurant contain ingredients that are high in fats and other chemicals. These substances, according to some health experts, can causes chronic diseases such as cancer. In fact, recent studies in Malaysia shows that a high percentage of people who have died due to cancer were had consumed a high amount of instant food. Having no time to prepare healthy food can lead to serious illnesses.
In addition, many people also does not have time to exercise because of their job. When people are working, they will spends almost the whole day at work. However, As a result, they will become very tired when they get home. This will prevent them from doing exercise. In addition, because they need to avoid the traffic jam in the morning ,they also cannot find time to exercise before they going to work. Without regular exercise, their body will be/become weak and they will easily get sick. In brief, without exercise, people can become unhealthy which can lead them to become sick which can make them sick.
In conclusion, the kind of lifestyle that people have today such as do not eating healthy food/eating unhealthy food and not giving time/giving no time for a regular exercise, makes them easily to acquire illnesses that can leads to deaths. It is suggested that people should be awared of the things they do in order to have a healthy lifestyle.
** Collected From Tarek Monwar: PPoint
** How to write essay: TOEFL Resources
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